Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Looking at a ‘Biblical View of Communication’ can be a broad spectrum, but as I’ve mentioned in past weeks, taking a scriptural approach to communication means that it should be “With Love” and “With Truth”, and this week I’d like to look at a third component to Biblical communication, which is “With Wisdom.”

The definition of wisdom is: the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action.”   My simple definition would be:  the balance of truth and love, with a little common sense.

Watching how people who claim to be ‘followers of Christ’ communicate with one another and to those outside of the family of God online, and sometimes even in person, can be incredibly troubling.  There is at times a lack of truth, sometimes a lack of love, but most often a lack of common sense.

The above definition states that wisdom is geared toward “just judgment as to action”, which essentially means that wisdom isn’t wisdom unless action is involved.  So as followers of Christ, what is the purpose of our communication?  Or in other words, what is the goal of our actions?  Our goal, according to Christ, is to “make disciples”, meaning to help people become the men and women they were created by God to be.

So communicating with wisdom is less about what we say (truth), or how we say it (love), but more to do with when we say it.  Wisdom is recognizing the right moments to say the right things. 

As followers of Christ, it’s not just saying things with the right tone, and the right amount of truth, but also at the right time.  Isn’t this true for how God interacts with us?  Romans 5:6 says that “…at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.”  God’s timing in your life has probably been just as perfect as it has been in my life.  As followers of Christ, it’s important that we aren’t just truthful, that we don’t just speak with love, but also that we use wisdom as to when we speak, or don’t speak for that matter.

Here are a few questions that can help in fleshing out wisdom in your communication:

  • Is now the best time to tell this person what I’m about to say?  
  • Is Facebook/email/a text message the best way to say this?
  • If I say this now, will that help them become more like Christ, or turn them away from Christ?

Communication is an innate part of being human, and yet communication comes with complications.  That’s because through communication things happen…life happens…change happens.

  • One “You look nice today” can completely change a person’s outlook.
  • A simple “We’ve missed you” can bring such incredible value to a relationship.

These simple words of encouragement can brighten a person’s day and remind them of the value that they possess as a human being.  But the opposite is true as well.  We’ve all heard the saying as kids, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  While that’s a nice saying, it isn’t really accurate.  Words can bring great pain and sorrow.

  • To hear from your father “You’re worthless” or “You’ll never amount to anything” could devastate a person.
  • Being told by your child “You’re a terrible mother” could send a person spiraling out of control emotionally.

The words of Proverbs 18 are so true: “The tongue has the power of life and death…”

So our communication can both build up or tear down.  As I discussed in my last post, the issue isn’t in your words, but your heart.  But as a follow-up your words still do matter.  And that brings us to this next aspect of biblical communication:  Truth.

I know.  Of course truth should be part of our communication.  But in reality, is it always?  Part of our wiring as human beings is the desired to be loved, liked and pleasing to those around you.  Except for a few angry souls out there, most of us generally enjoy it when people have a fond view of us.  So deep down inside, a lot of us are naturally ‘people pleasers.’  There’s nothing wrong with that – in fact, it’s this basic wiring that keeps many of us from being jerks (which is a really good thing!).  But the problem with being a ‘people pleaser’ is we often withhold the truth when it could actually do a lot of good.

You see, while words can build up or tear down, sometimes our lack of words can do that same thing.  There are moments when our truthful words can actually help us out.  If I walk out of the bathroom in the morning with a completely mismatched outfit that screams, “This guy has to be color-blind!”, I would hope my wife would tell me the truth and tell me a I look like a clown.  That’s not a hurtful thing, but those words of truth will help me avoid a long, embarrassing day.

Words carry the power of life and death, but so do our lack of words.  Don’t withhold the truth, because your words could be the difference between growth and transformation in someone’s life, or mediocrity.  Your ability to speak the truth with love, could literally change a person’s future.  Iron sharpens iron, not by appeasing, but by helping, encouraging, and speaking with truth.

With that said, here are a few thoughts on communicating with truth:

  • The goal is building up, not tearing down.  Truth should always be covered in love.
  • Don’t use truth as a weapon, but rather as a tool to encourage and strengthen.
  • When you create an environment around you that combines both truth and love, you’ll find healthy relationships and healthier self-awareness.
  • Love is not communicated through flowery words, but through truth that helps another grow into the man or woman God created them to be.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be doing a series of posts on a “Biblical View of Communication.”  We live in one of the most communication-heavy periods in the history of mankind.  You can communicate with people in more ways today than ever before.  From email to texting, to Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, or the old reliable methods of a snail-mail letter or a phone call.  With all of these communication channels available to us, it is amazing how we still struggle with communication.  And this is the real issue with communication, and what we’ll be looking at over the next few weeks:  Communication is more about the heart than the words.

Not that words are important, because they are.  But ultimately the right words with the wrong heart will cause more harm than good.

Here are the four angles we’ll be looking at with communication:

  • With Love
  • With Truth
  • With Wisdom
  • Toward Redemption

To start things off, communicating in love seems like a given.  Of course we should communicate in love, but the reality is that this is easier said than done.  As a leader, it is often easier to simply speak the truth, but without love.  And while truth is important, love must precede truth.

As a follower of Christ, the Apostle Paul writes in Colossians 3 that we are to “put on love.”  Essentially that everything we do and say should be covered in love.  This sounds good in theory, but when the rubber hits the road, this gets much more difficult.  When you’re frustrated, when things don’t go your way, when obstacles are mounting and your fuse is short, then what?

Remember, Communication is more about the heart than the words.  As a leader, if you find yourself having trouble speaking in love.  Or if others are brave enough to point this out to you, it’s not simply the words you are speaking, but ultimately the heart behind the words.

Jesus shares in Luke 6 this powerful truth: “…the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”  If your words aren’t covered in love, what is your heart full of?

As a leader, and especially a leader in the church, it is crucial that your communication be ‘in love.’  As Paul writes, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” (1 Cor. 13:1)  Our words must be clothed in love.

So practically speaking, how does this apply to leaders and followers of Christ?  Ask yourselves these questions before you speak, send that email, or fire off that comment on Facebook:

  • What is the motive (or heart) behind these words?
  • Do my words reflect the love of Christ or the anger of man?
  • Is love a clear and visible component of the words I am about to share?

Over the last couple months, I’ve been posting about our Core Values at Calvary.  If you’ve missed any of the previous posts, you can read them all here.  This week, we finish up this series looking at “Focusing Outward.”  

I’ve often found that the longer a church exists, the easier it is to focus inward.  After a while, the passion of a new church wears off, the burden for reaching those far from God begins to diminish, and the greatest concern becomes comfort rather than impact.  In fact, this is the normal path for any human endeavor.  Without vision and clear direction, we will always find ourselves drifting toward what’s most comfortable.  Whether that’s a workout routine, a building project or even a church.  The great tragedy with a church, though, is that by focusing inward rather than outward, actual lives are affected.  In fact, when we focus inward, essentially what we’re saying is:

  • …my life has more value than those outside the church walls.
  • …I’ve come to a place spiritually where reaching the lost is no longer important to me.
  • …God values my satisfaction over someone else’s salvation.

Churches that remain inward focused will find themselves in a very comfortable, me-centered environment, that is on a path toward extinction.

At Calvary, however, our desire is to be “Outward Focused.”  And what we mean, and what we are passionate about is that: “The church exists to take the message of Christ inside its walls to the world outside its walls.”

As a church, my prayer is that we don’t become so comfortable that we miss the truth that we were once outside those walls in need of a Savior.  Jesus gave us the command to go and make disciples.  Our greatest mission as a church is to fulfill that very command of Christ.  Through our resources, ministries and programs, we strive to take this great message of the gospel outside our walls into our community, throughout our region, and around the world.  The moment we stop focusing outward will be the moment we stop fulfilling our mission to “Lead people into an overflowing life with Christ.”

This is why it is so crucial that we continue to Pursue God’s Presence, that we make Building Relationships a priority, that we understand the importance to Grow with Purpose, that we become unquestionably passionate about Giving Generously, that we continue to Serve with Excellence, that we grasp the importance in an ever-changing culture to adopt a Creative Approach, that we never forget the responsibility to Reach the Next Generation because as a church, we are called to continually Focus Outward with the life-changing message of Christ!

Join us on that journey – it’s not an easy one, but I can tell you God is preparing us as a church to be a force in the Kingdom of God!

Over the last couple months, I’ve been journeying through the core values for Calvary.  This week, we look at one of the core values that is not simply important for today, but for the future.  It’s our commitment to “Reach the Next Generation.”  We believe that “It is the responsibility of every generation to reach the next generation.”  This isn’t something that is just a nice thought, or would be a good addition to our journey with Christ, but I believe it is a mandate for every follower of Christ to pass the spiritual baton to the next generation.  And as a church, it is even more important.  Because the longevity of a church is based on the priority they place on reaching and discipling the next generation.  I have unfortunately sat in and officiated church business meetings as a congregation votes to close their doors.  On these occasions, you can almost always guarantee the next generation was no longer a priority at that church.

For Calvary, making this a priority and core value, doesn’t mean we neglect older generations or those that are not part of the next generation, but quite the opposite!  To reach the next generation, it takes every other generation doing their part.  From being a model for healthy marriages, to providing wisdom to a younger generation, we all carry the responsibility to pass on what we have learned to the next generation.  As this happens, we find a healthy cycle of maturity.  One generation helps the next grow and mature.

The problem is, this is rarely our natural response.  Many of us don’t just naturally pass on what we’ve learned and experienced to the next generation, and many in the next generation don’t usually want to receive what the generation before them has to offer.  So how do we make this work?

Reaching the next generation must start with and always include humility.  A person walking with humility will be far more effective reaching and investing in the next generation, and the young person that responds with humility will be given the incredible experience to receive wisdom that far exceeds their years on earth.  As a church, we know that we aren’t perfect, and we surely don’t have it all together.  But in humility we strive to use the resources we have to fulfill this mandate by God to Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Prov. 22:6)  As a church, my prayer is that we transform the future of our community by providing opportunities for kids and youth to experience the power and presence of God, and pursue His unique purpose for them!  I believe a church that does this with humility may not be perfect, but it will a force in the Kingdom of God.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself about how you are reaching the next generation:

  • What experience, wisdom or ability has God uniquely given you that you can pass on to the next generation?
  • What steps are you taking personally to invest in the next generation?
  • Is your investment in the next generation about you (pride), or about setting the next generation up to succeed (humility)?

Today we continue looking at our Core Values at Calvary.  You can read all the posts in this series here.  This week, we are looking at value of taking “A Creative Approach.”

One of the more unfortunate things that has happened in the Pentecostal, or Spirit-filled church movement, over the last half century is the gradual decline of creativity within the church.  What is sad is that churches that claim to be Spirit-filled have often eliminated and shunned the creatives of their community.  But if we truly believe that the Holy Spirit is the most creative being in the Universe, then as Spirit-filled people, we should naturally be creative.

This doesn’t mean we change, alter or edit the message of scripture, but rather that we continually update and adapt our methods.  In fact, the core of what we believe about creativity is that “The unchanging message of scripture calls for ever-changing methods.”  To continue to communicate a timeless message, we have to be willing to allow for creative approaches to ministry.  And not creativity that takes away from the message, but rather creativity that enhances the message.

Because of this we as a church strive to create opportunities for creativity to be encouraged.  From music, to design, lighting or other artistic expressions.  My conviction is that worship isn’t simply something we do on Sunday as we sing, but it’s what we do each day as we embrace the creativity within us and express it to the world around us.  

My hope for you, and for the church we are daily creating is that it is a place where creatives feel welcomed, and are given the opportunity to express their creativity for the glory of the One that created us.

 

I’m continuing my series of posts on Calvary’s Core Values.  You can read some of the previous posts here.  This week, we’re looking at “Serving with Excellence.”

If I can for a moment, I’d like to share a confession with you.  Just between you and me, one of my great frustrations from growing up in the church, and being around church for most of my life, is when people say “It’s good enough.”  Every time I hear that I wonder, “Good enough for what?” 

You see, here’s the disconnect that often happens in churches:  We separate effort from ability.  The thought is that if I give a good effort at something, whether I’m good at it or not, then it’s “good enough.”  While as a pastor, I really appreciate people that serve and give a good effort, the effort and energy that is given toward an area that a person isn’t really gifted in seems kind of wasted.  In 1 Corinthians 12, the Apostle Paul writes that the body of Christ (speaking of the Church) is made up of many parts, and yet we are still one body.  What he means is that we are all gifted in different things, but unity happens when we can all work together with our varying abilities toward the same goal.

So here’s where our core value at Calvary comes in.  We believe very strongly in excellence.  What that means to us is that we are very committed to maximizing our resources and abilities to make the greatest impact.  This doesn’t mean we diminish someone’s effort, but we strive to help people find the right places in the ‘body’ that they can maximize their gifts to make the greatest impact.

For example, when I was a youth pastor a number of years ago, I lead worship one Wednesday night.  While I gave my best effort, it was anything but excellent…it was actually pretty pitiful.  Because excellence, giving our best to God, is so important, I didn’t lead worship in our youth service again.  That was my first time, and my last time.  Why?  Not because I’m not important or valued in the Kingdom of God, but my effort was better served in another capacity than leading worship…that wasn’t (and still isn’t) my gifting.

So how do we do things with excellence?  Here’s a few ways we strive to do that:

  • We make it a point to be honest.  If we’re not good at something, there’s nothing wrong with admitting it.
  • We strive to evaluate.  Evaluation isn’t destructive or negative, it is ‘iron sharpening iron’ working to improve and better the gift God has placed within us.
  • We value a person’s place and wiring.  We are adamant that God has a place in the church for everyone.  What that means is that just because someone’s not good at one thing, doesn’t mean they’ll be bad at something else.  God gifts us each to be successful and effective in the purpose He created us for.  When someone discovers that purpose, it can be an eye-opening moment for not only their direction, but also the focus of their giftings.
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,023 other followers