When You Call the Pastor, Dad (Part 3)

Since a young age, I have been playing various sports. It was something I enjoyed doing and over time developed into a descent athlete. As a PK, my parents (and especially my father) were very busy with ‘church stuff’. If you’re a PK, you’ll understand this: meetings, services, weddings, funerals. It really is a busy schedule, which can create conflicts for a busy sports schedule.

Maybe you’ve been there:
It’s gameday and you’re so excited for your dad to come and watch you play. You almost can’t contain the anticipation of seeing your father in the stands cheering you on. As the game begins you sneak a glance to the bleachers…as you look back and forth quickly you don’t see him. You think, “Oh well, I’m sure he’ll show up soon.” By the end of the game, you’re exhausted and pretty disappointed. It was a good game, but no dad. As you walk to the parking lot, you see a church board member pulling in and motioning for you to get into their car. You find out your dad had a meeting that he had forgotten about. Although you nod your head in understanding, deep inside you feel ignored and neglected.

As sad as that story might be, it is true for many PK’s. The ministry becomes the priority over a pastor’s family. I am very fortunate that this story is not my story. Throughout the numerous sports seasons, one constant I had (besides my good looks and sweet skills) was at least one of my parents being in the stands cheering me on. And not just cheering, but they were always there after the game to encourage me when I was down and celebrate with me when I did well.

I can’t tell you the impact this one, little thing has had on my life. The fact that I knew I could look up in the middle of a game, even away games, and know one of my parents would be there beaming with pride for their son meant so much. It gave me confidence but also affirmed the hard work I had put in to be good at that particular sport. Although my father was very busy, there was never a question whether my father’s ministry took a priority over myself, my sister, or my mother. Ministry was, and is, very important to our family…it’s our passion, but it was not our highest priority.

The Lesson I’ve Learned: Although we are called by God into ministry, we are first placed by God into a family…to be true to your call, you must put a priority on your family.

[By the way, my favorite sports moment growing up was winning a bet with my dad in a Rec. Soccer Game by scoring 3 goals in one game…he paid up and bought me my favorite meal, 3 tacos from Taco Bell!]

5 thoughts on “When You Call the Pastor, Dad (Part 3)

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  1. Thanks for your insight, Nick. I want our kids to grow up with a positive view of ministry, and it’s hard to help them with this. Blessings to you…


  2. Hello Nick. I just want to say that I am a pk… i read your entry before this one but can’t find the first one. I want to say that THIS IS VERY TRUE… My parents are great, but i find that ministry is my dad’s wife. He means well and says God has called him, and sure, that may be true but my mom my brother and myself feel that ministry is first to him. I am 24 and i am married. I love God with all my heart and i want to attend church, just not the one my father pastors. I have a big dilemma. I am the worship leader, Media person, my husband plays the piano and i help with the church because i love it. BUT my father always argues with me and gives other people more benefit of the doubt then he does to me, if that even makes sense. I love my dad, but him being the way he is with ministry has dampened our relationship as well as my parents and my brothers relationships and we have tried talking to him so many times but he keeps saying the same thing over and over… God has called me to this ministrya and i will continue. Ive tried telling my dad on my own but he just gets mad, we argue and then he walks away. I dont know what to do!!! I need help…. Im frustrated!!!


  3. It sounds like you do need to find another church in which to worship and minister, God has called your father, but He has also put you in a position in which to minister. Your relationship with your father is more important than you attending his church. For everyone’s benefit (including the church), find another place to worship and minister!


  4. Family never comes first when it’s compared to the work of the lord. Acceptance is probably the biggest issue being a pk. I didn’t mind being forgotten or pushed to the side. What makes me bitter about being a pk Is that my father cared more about what people thought of him then what I was going through. Me killing myself would probably be more embarrassing to him then him being hurt from losing me. I’ve never been good enough. I’ve never had a normal life. Today in service we had a guest speaker and he was stating statistics on pastors and their kids. 80% of pks’ seek medical attention from shrinks. I wish my father would love me the way he loves the people of the church.


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