A week ago as part of our Sunday Morning service at Calvary Assembly, we had a special interview with guest and marriage counselor, Gary Bruegman, on the topic of relationships. Those in attendance were able to text in questions for Gary. We had so many come in that we were unable to ask them all in the service. So to still provide responses to the unasked questions from that morning, Gary Bruegman has been gracious enough to answer the questions below. If you missed the interview, you can listen to it on our website here.
QUESTION: How do u let the issues of the past not affect your relationships of today?
RESPONSE: I refuse to rewrite history. I am the only one who can make the decision to diffuse the negative messages and behaviors exhibited by other people in the past. I refuse to let past issues have any power or control over me. My relationships with people today are better because I have learned valuable lessons.
QUESTION: Does your wife ever travel and speak w you?
RESPONSE: My wife occasionally travels with me if at all possible. She participates in seminars when asked, but does not teach. She is 100% devoted to praying for every person, couple and marriage seminar I am conducting.
QUESTION: My wife and I find it hard to pray together. What advice do you have for a couple to start praying together?
RESPONSE: Recognize that praying together signifies or reflects the unity that should exist in your marriage relationship. It’s difficult to communicate to God in prayer together if you struggle as a couple to communicate. Be consistent and persistent.
QUESTION: Is it unhealthy for a couple to fight over control?
RESPONSE: It’s unhealthy for a couple to fight over anything. No one likes to be controlled. The goal of two people in relational power struggle is to win or be in control. Healthy marriage is about being teammates. Teammates work together, not against each other. Effective communication is the only way to diffuse individual control in a relationship.
QUESTION: Do you have any advice on how to pray for someone who has been wearing a mask for most of their life?
RESPONSE: Someone who, as u said, is believing lies about them self, has fears, and is seeking approval and their identity from others?. . . . Pray that the individual’s heart becomes open to seeking the truth about themselves. God is the only who can show us the value and worth we possess. It is irresponsible to expect others to make us happy, valued and somehow significant.
QUESTION: How do you reach out to someone who does not want it, to talk about spiritual things?
RESPONSE: Don’t continue pressing to connect with someone when they are resisting your advances. Rethink your strategy. Ask them things about their life, family and interest areas. The opportunity to present spiritual things will come when you gain their trust and respect.
QUESTION: How has your relationship with your mother been effected by your past and now in your present?
RESPONSE: My mother died several years ago. I had the privilege of praying with her and I believe she is saved. I was able to look beyond her weaknesses and dysfunctional life only because of my relationship with Christ.